Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Happy Child Guide - 7 Ways To Transform Misbehavior into Great Behavior!


Parent Learning Club - Raising Happy Kids, Together!

Love alone is not enough to raise a happy child.Home Page If it was that there would be a lot fewer defiant and disobedient
children. If you're reading this then it's not love you're lacking, but
Non-Reaction.
The secret ingredient that parents need to cultivate is "Non-Reaction".
What this means is that you do not "react". Webster's dictionary defines
reaction as:
"resistance or opposition to a force, influence, or movement"
Here's another definition that reminds me of what happens to many parents...
"bodily response to or activity aroused by a stimulus: an action induced
by vital resistance to another action; especially : the response of tissues
to a foreign substance (as an antigen or infective agent)...
...depression or exhaustion due to excessive exertion or stimulation"
Does this last line sound familiar to any mothers and fathers you know?

Reaction is basically what happens when two forces collide.
In this case the two forces are often Parent vs. Child.
The end result is usually an exhausted parent and an unhappy child.
Instead of reacting to your child's defiance - be like water.
Instead of reacting to your child when he or she is suddenly testing you -
stop and become aware of what's really behind your child's actions
Once you do, you'll usually see that your child has zero malicious
intent to bother you - but instead their actions are due to one of three
reasons:
3 Reasons Why Kids Mis-Behave:
1) They're lacking information (like a toddler doesn't have the information
that they should not track muddy boots on the carpet).
2) The have some tension in their body due to some stress (like a child who
gets stressed from being scolded and acts out afterwards by hurting a sibling)
3) They are lacking something (they're hungry, or maybe they haven't had
enough physical affection that day)
Cultivate Non-Reaction. Not only will you feel much more peaceful and
less stressed in your life - but you'll find that you'll have a much more
cooperative and happy child. Because you child will show you the same
respect if you listen instead of reacting to your child.
To your parenting journey,
Dr. Blaise Ryan
Senior Faculty, The Parent Learning Club

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